What's the problem? Amusing computer issues

If you're not an IT person, you may want to avoid reading the rest of this article in case you're easily offended. It's just an amusing stab at customers computer issues. Note that most of the below were remote support jobs so we weren't there in person and could only see the users screen.


Three Webdevelopers phone in to say their computers can't view a website properly

"Can someone have a look at our computers because we recently received the new corporate template for our website and it's not displaying properly on my colleague's computers". [Priority 1]

What's a web guru?
Well this might be obvious to some but these are self-proclaimed highly qualified web-gurus in the marketing department. They'd paid around £150,000 for a template designed by a 3rd-party company. Received the zip and uploaded it to their homepage. The 3rd-party company had obviously designed the template to work in one browser only: Internet Explorer version 7. The marketing web-gurus were simply using different browsers. The project leader was on IE7, while their designer was on an Apple Mac using Safari, and a third was using Mozilla Firefox. We told them to go back to the template providers and report the same problem to them...???


Staff member requiring access to a secure application

"So that's all installed for you. I just need you to restart your computer now and tell me when that's done.".

"I've done what you said but it's still not working".

"From my logs, you haven't restarted this machine in a while.".

"No I definitely log off every evening and then back on again".

"You mean you log back on in the morning?"

"No it takes so long in the morning, this is quicker".

Explained how logoff is not the same thing as restart and reminded on both IT and environmental policies. Tech Notes: For PCs: Run a command prompt and type systeminfo: Look for "System Up Time".


A staff member in a partner institution:

"By the way my printer has stopped working, in fact it hasn't been working for ages, could you also look at that".

"Is there a power light on when you switch it on?".

"Yes it's definitely plugged in if that's what you're asking.".

"Is it a networked printer, I mean is there a cable that directly connects the printer to your computer or does the printer plug into the wall? Ok could you please follow the cable from the computer to the printer and tell me.".

"Hang on its on the other side of the room.".

This was a remote support job over the phone. The discussion above was after installing drivers and setting up the workstation with updates etc. as per our standard image. The printer was connected via three usb extension cables. The middle one wasn't connected to anything on either end.


What not to say to IT

"Hi could you find <staff_name> and tell them to unlock the record they are viewing".

"Oh that person isn't at work today".

"Well someone on that computer has locked a database record.".

"Well my colleague who's using that computer is in a meeting but I can login and do this for you".

IT Policy: Do not share passwords. It defeats the whole purpose!


A media student:

"My computer has swallowed my CD-Rom, I put in the disk but when I eject the CD there's nothing in there!".

I can't really have a go at customers as it took 4 IT technicians deliberating over 30 minutes (remote support so we weren't there in person): The computer had two CD-Roms. The user put the disc in one of the drives but was pressing eject on the second drive.


Like these? Share your experiences as comments below :)


Credit where Credit is Due:


Feel free to copy, redistribute and share this information. All that we ask is that you attribute credit and possibly even a link back to this website as it really helps in our search engine rankings.

Disclaimer: The information on this website is provided without warranty and any content is merely the opinion of the author. Please try to test in development environments prior to adapting them to your production environments. The articles are written in good faith and, at the time of print, are working examples used in a commercial setting.

Thank you for visiting and, as always, we hope this website was of some use to you!

Kind Regards,

Joel Lipman
www.joellipman.com

Related Articles

Joes Revolver Map

Joes Word Cloud

Accreditation

Badge - Certified Zoho Creator Associate
Badge - Certified Zoho Creator Associate

Donate & Support

If you like my content, and would like to support this sharing site, feel free to donate using a method below:

Paypal:
Donate to Joel Lipman via PayPal

Bitcoin:
Donate to Joel Lipman with Bitcoin - Valid till 8 May 2022 3QnhmaBX7LQSRsC9hh6Je9rGQKEGNQNfPb
© 2021 Joel Lipman .com. All Rights Reserved.